I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
