I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
