Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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