I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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