i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
