I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize