Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
tell me about the eggs
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
