dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
