He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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