So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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