everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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