Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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