im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
