my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
