Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you didnt know i had herpes?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
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