You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
