around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
