I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
