I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
