Sponge bath it is.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
