yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
