we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
