you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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