I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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