I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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