In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
