your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
