Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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