his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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