Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
