Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
