Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
