He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize