Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
