Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
