everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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