Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
