The maid of honor just puked.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
