Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
