I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
