found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
