yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
