there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
