I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
