We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
ugly people sure do ruin things
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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