why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
