I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
