Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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