it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How does it feel to date your dad?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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