If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
