I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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