champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
