I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
