Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
