I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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