Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
