I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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