Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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