found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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