Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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