I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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