I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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