Did you just see the Batmobile???
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
