fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
