Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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