Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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