she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize