just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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