You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
