I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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