Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
