can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
