He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
