Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
