if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
