ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
4 words: hood of his car
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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